Aug 6th, 2007

I am no longer a student, officially. I no longer get student discounts on flights, movies, bookstores or hostels. Darn. Oh well, maybe I'll make enough moolah to cover all that.

Day 1 at work as a person that actually getting paid to do what I have been doing for the past 2 years, I can't believe I'm actually getting paid. This deserves a poignant pause.

*pause*


:) My biggest nightmare was that I would not be competent, I'd be doing treatment and goals that were not reliable and didn't make sense with no clinical judgment. Well, I was wrong. I'm a pretty awesome clinician--I may not be born with amazing talent, but I sure have developed some mad skills. This was an occasion where I felt it was ok to compare myself to others in my position/profession, since I had no objective working standard, and I compare my self to myself for progress and personal goals anyways. I'm not the best, but I accept that that comes with experience.

That said, I do worry and think about how my clients are doing. I work for a pediatric clinic now, hence, I want to see progress, I want to see my clients blossom. And I worry everyday if what I do will hinder, or enhance, progress. I need to see progress. I evaluate myself daily, after the day's treatment has ended, what did I do, how did I do it, was it effective, when was it not? And I observe other more experienced clinicians, what are they doing, is it effective, or not? And I see myself doing what they are doing for the most part, with touches of my own style mixed with conviction of what's effective (all that schooling...). But I do need to develop this clinical intuition and foresight, that would be my key to being a really super awesome clinician, a.k.a., one that bring life back to the person and his/her family.

My supervisors must be wondering where's the girl on the resume...I came as one who's mostly quiet and looking like a high schooler...can't help the young looks, I refuse to wear make-up daily at work. And I'm still learning to brush off those student attitudes, and be a professional, with a working person's demeanor. She's coming out.