After 4 years in a liberal arts college and two (okay, one and a half to date) in graduate school, I finally had decided--I really like TBI and AAC, and I want to work with these two populations. Just found out about my internship placement--TBI peds, very excited!!!
Back to the now. The beginning of the semester was very roller-coaster-y for me. Things seemed to point to a certain direction and I was getting a little anxious but VERY excited because those far off future and near future plans looked enticing, more than I dreamed for myself. Perhaps I got too worry-wartish. I geared my semester to prepare myself for those after graduation goals. Thus far, I found out that I do do do love TBI and AAC. Especially serving the AAC population because I am just so anal about giving everyone "a voice, one speech therapy session at a time." I am discovering I am not gifted in this AAC area, and yet I wonder if that's okay. Even if I don't have this special instinct about things, is it possible that I still be good in the field and make an impact on the lives of those I serve in AAC? I want to be that good, not just pay-cheque good. Will I gain the skills needed, and above that in time? Or is this love, just a love that is not one to be put into action? Do I have the abilities? I'm no genius or superhero (-ine, for those who care about he/she stuff). But I want to do better, want to be effective, very effective. I guess I can try and see where I am at by the end of the semester. After all, that's what school is for. And then there's the other part of worrying: I do care what my supervisor thinks about my skills in this area. And I feel like I've let her down (okay, maybe that't not the best way to phrase it)...and I feel like I want to brilliant before her. I have to constantly remind myself that I am here to impress anyone (ok, to perform well and be real, but not impress) and the only one I should be concerned about what-they-think-of-me is God. What God sees me doing, thinking (scheming, hehehe). Finding my identity in Christ. The one whom I love will be the one that I think of and consider in what I do, what will so-and-so think. And that is God. Abba Father. Let me remember this always, O Lord.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
AAC
Today was my first AAC evaluation ever. A little girl with CP, and I think after hearing in class and learning about AAC and physically disabling disorders, I finally got to the heart, or at least, had a little taste of what how it stands and lives in a person. She was amazing, bright and full of life. She expressed herself in all means possible that was available, given to her. At such a young age, she surprised me with understanding and problem-solving beyond her age. It was all up there, receptive language typical, IQ/cognitive typical...it was just the limiting body that prevented her from so much. 'Trapped in a body that betrayed her' is what one of my profs called it. When reaching out to pick up something, to touch something, the arm moves everywhere but at the target and betrays the mind's command. It takes so much longer to say or do anything, anything at all. You don't have privacy anymore, you always need another person beside you. The knowing is the worst I think. Or perhaps not. Perhaps it's the trying to get other to understand you that's the worst. Just because of the way you look. This reminds me of how God looks at our heart, the inside and not the outside. This experience allows me to revisit this revelation again in new light.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Summer II
Summer II is almost, just almost coming to an end. YEAH!
Doing camp was not as hectic as I had imagined it to be but it certainly did not leave room for anything else to do during the week. I learned lots about me as a clinician. One, preschoolers are energized beings that do not run out of energy...if they do, they turn grumpy before they run out of energy. And I am not loud or energetic or playful enough to keep them entertained to the level that they would appreciate. Secondly, kids who are old enough to walk and go potty themselves, etc. still can malleable in the mind and like to do things their way. But the fun is often out because they are also old enough to sit still and do serious work for acceptable long periods of time. So, therapy is still 'child-like' but less bouncing off the walls fun. It reminds me of Hey Dilly Dilly (Lavender Blue). Thirdly, I still don't know a lot and have a TON to learn which is kinda scary since it's almost time to graduate. But the key to learning is to keep those brain cells a-moving and a-pushing...which is tiring me out real quick.
I get to see First Child and her sister daily in the mornings...not talk and play with them, but I do get to see their smiles and get an occasional wave and bitty chatter.
Doing camp was not as hectic as I had imagined it to be but it certainly did not leave room for anything else to do during the week. I learned lots about me as a clinician. One, preschoolers are energized beings that do not run out of energy...if they do, they turn grumpy before they run out of energy. And I am not loud or energetic or playful enough to keep them entertained to the level that they would appreciate. Secondly, kids who are old enough to walk and go potty themselves, etc. still can malleable in the mind and like to do things their way. But the fun is often out because they are also old enough to sit still and do serious work for acceptable long periods of time. So, therapy is still 'child-like' but less bouncing off the walls fun. It reminds me of Hey Dilly Dilly (Lavender Blue). Thirdly, I still don't know a lot and have a TON to learn which is kinda scary since it's almost time to graduate. But the key to learning is to keep those brain cells a-moving and a-pushing...which is tiring me out real quick.
I get to see First Child and her sister daily in the mornings...not talk and play with them, but I do get to see their smiles and get an occasional wave and bitty chatter.
Monday, May 22, 2006
I am an awesome clinician
I am an awesome clinician
I am an awesome clinician
This is my new mantra, in hopes of building myself up as an awesome clinician.
I got an adult client this summer semester, surprisingly. I had adults all last semester. But I just know I'm going to get kids in summer II and the Fall, and ECC and I am going to die then. But maybe it will turn out to be a pleasant surprise. Maybe I'll get an externship in the Fall, then no matter what age group I see, I'll be ok.
My client this summer is a peer, diagnose with TBI. Which reminds me constantly of how any life altering occasion can happen. It humbles me alot, so see the struggles my client goes through. She's only 5 months younger than me. She's also pretty amazing, I admire her spirit and the will she has to work work work to become better. She gets down at times, but not anywhere near at the danger level. She's also a challenge to me clinic-wise. Very high functioning, so I need to find ways to work on what needs to be worked on, and find out exactly what needs to be worked on and how. First high functioning client. Veyr interesting. I find that I rely a lot on her evaluation of how things went/are going. Very interesting.
Hmm...I don't think I've written about this: I volunteered at H.N. here in Mt. Pleasant for a month. It was the best month of clinic here ever! I hardly can say it was volunteering, I learned so much about different kinds of clients, how things work in the office, with other professionals, etc. It was great! I saw a whole variety of clients, you don't get these kinda clients in university clinics. It was interesting to see that.
I am an awesome clinician
This is my new mantra, in hopes of building myself up as an awesome clinician.
I got an adult client this summer semester, surprisingly. I had adults all last semester. But I just know I'm going to get kids in summer II and the Fall, and ECC and I am going to die then. But maybe it will turn out to be a pleasant surprise. Maybe I'll get an externship in the Fall, then no matter what age group I see, I'll be ok.
My client this summer is a peer, diagnose with TBI. Which reminds me constantly of how any life altering occasion can happen. It humbles me alot, so see the struggles my client goes through. She's only 5 months younger than me. She's also pretty amazing, I admire her spirit and the will she has to work work work to become better. She gets down at times, but not anywhere near at the danger level. She's also a challenge to me clinic-wise. Very high functioning, so I need to find ways to work on what needs to be worked on, and find out exactly what needs to be worked on and how. First high functioning client. Veyr interesting. I find that I rely a lot on her evaluation of how things went/are going. Very interesting.
Hmm...I don't think I've written about this: I volunteered at H.N. here in Mt. Pleasant for a month. It was the best month of clinic here ever! I hardly can say it was volunteering, I learned so much about different kinds of clients, how things work in the office, with other professionals, etc. It was great! I saw a whole variety of clients, you don't get these kinda clients in university clinics. It was interesting to see that.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
End of year one (quite)
I haven't really been blogging much, I think I forget, and am rushing and thinking too many things at once. This semester is officially going to end Thursday of next week. It hasn't been a bad one altogether, very relaxed compared to other semesters in my lifetime. Annoying, but relaxing. One week break and then crazy summer classes and clinic will begin. I will then, be either ranting and complaining here, or not blogging at all. Please pray that I will get an externship for the Fall semester 2006, or I might just roll over and play dead in the on campus clinic.
Last Tuesday was my final day at the nursing home. Happy to get done with clinic, sad to leave those great clients behind. My individual one was not feeling well, she hadn't been for quite some time, so that was sad cause I didn't really get to spend much time with her, except to give her some gifts and say goodbye. She's found a spot in my heart, I had a tough time initially with her, but after a while, rapport was gained! and I found out her ways and managed to built a fun relationship with her. It's amazing how little things perk her up like nothing else. Finding out what she really liked, and especially those that can be incorporated into therapy seriously brightened up her day and helped temporarily forget the physical pains she had. So, here's challenges and lessons from the nursing home as a SLP student:
-Age does not matter, beauty and macho-ness is still important and must be taken care of at all cost.
-Not wearing glasses, hearing aids, and other assistive devices does increase boost the residents self-esteem, thus, work your way around this (i.e. learn how to talk in a very loud voice without killing your voice, and use extra large print whenever possible).
-Do not take comments from persons with memory loss and difficulties personally.
-Along with that, hoping that the person will not remember what you said wrongly just a minute ago is a valid kinda hope. But try not to say anything bad in any case.
-Talk about what they like, what they did in their time, and they will love you. Show care.
-The little things in life do matter, and bring joy.
-Things move very slowly, take your time, enjoy and smile, you don't get these moments just like these just in any place.
-Humor is a valuable and essential tool.
-Always check feeding and swallowing safety records for the residents, you can't just use food all the time in this setting, as you could in other settings. And anyways, food is not always a great motivator for residents to do what you want them to do. They get full to fast, and they usually can't eat the food they love (e.g. sweets and fried goodness).
-Don't make faces or cringe at 'accidents' that happen, even when the person is unaware of it...but the other residents are allowed to hold their noses.
Last Tuesday was my final day at the nursing home. Happy to get done with clinic, sad to leave those great clients behind. My individual one was not feeling well, she hadn't been for quite some time, so that was sad cause I didn't really get to spend much time with her, except to give her some gifts and say goodbye. She's found a spot in my heart, I had a tough time initially with her, but after a while, rapport was gained! and I found out her ways and managed to built a fun relationship with her. It's amazing how little things perk her up like nothing else. Finding out what she really liked, and especially those that can be incorporated into therapy seriously brightened up her day and helped temporarily forget the physical pains she had. So, here's challenges and lessons from the nursing home as a SLP student:
-Age does not matter, beauty and macho-ness is still important and must be taken care of at all cost.
-Not wearing glasses, hearing aids, and other assistive devices does increase boost the residents self-esteem, thus, work your way around this (i.e. learn how to talk in a very loud voice without killing your voice, and use extra large print whenever possible).
-Do not take comments from persons with memory loss and difficulties personally.
-Along with that, hoping that the person will not remember what you said wrongly just a minute ago is a valid kinda hope. But try not to say anything bad in any case.
-Talk about what they like, what they did in their time, and they will love you. Show care.
-The little things in life do matter, and bring joy.
-Things move very slowly, take your time, enjoy and smile, you don't get these moments just like these just in any place.
-Humor is a valuable and essential tool.
-Always check feeding and swallowing safety records for the residents, you can't just use food all the time in this setting, as you could in other settings. And anyways, food is not always a great motivator for residents to do what you want them to do. They get full to fast, and they usually can't eat the food they love (e.g. sweets and fried goodness).
-Don't make faces or cringe at 'accidents' that happen, even when the person is unaware of it...but the other residents are allowed to hold their noses.
Saturday, February 18, 2006
S is for stuttering
I'm taking a course on stuttering this semester. Just so happens I am also doing my thesis on stuttering. I interact with PWS (people who stutter) but don't think I have a deep sense of understanding, how the pieces come together and play out in a life. We're reading a book by Jezer, "Stuttering: A Life Bound Up In Words," which has by far wonderfully (and thankfully) put together the scientific and academic side of stuttering together with the reality/person-invovled side. Sure, we learn about emotional and behavioral characteristics of stuttering, but Jezer puts the same points into meaningful words. Anyhow, I'm at chapter 11 now, and this section stood out to me, telling me something that I should have realized when I first began chapter 1: "The shame of being so identified--of having that "S" letter hung from my neck--was so powerful that it became etched into my consciousness. Recalling a humiliating incident forty years after the fact, I can still feel the blow in my gut, my stomach tightening up (Jezer p. 84)." Everyone has labels, what we identify ourselves as, most commonly, we introduce ourselves to others in terms of our occupation or relational/familial connection. Our primary identity drives our life, how we perceive and value ourselves, guiding our actions. A form of speech, stuttering is enough to be a defining label for a PWS. Needless to say, such a term does not promote happy feely thoughts or positive self-concepts. Typically with a childhood onset, the person has a lifetime to reinforce negative habits and struggle with self-esteem.
We are called as Christians to identify with Christ. We hear it in Sunday School and at the pulpit, to call ourselves as children of God, to make that our primary identity and live accordingly. Sinner but redeemed, heirs of God. Reading Jezer's book has renewed this concept to me. A PWS struggles to come to terms with their stuttering, and the label 'stutterer' because they mark it as their primary identity, above any other identity. Therapy (if it's good) does include help to form a positive self-image, accepting stuttering as a part of themselves but not allowing to conquer themselves. The goal is to view stuttering in neutral or positive ways, which often is the key factor to opening doors which actually address the stuttering behaviors themselves, in keeping stuttering under control, or giving life to a PWS. I think that treatment then, should not only be emphasizing that stuttering is only a part of their identity, and not the whole, but also filling in the void previously filled with 'stutterer' by actively identifying healthy and positive identities, especially a primary identity. And what better identity that a child of God.
We are called as Christians to identify with Christ. We hear it in Sunday School and at the pulpit, to call ourselves as children of God, to make that our primary identity and live accordingly. Sinner but redeemed, heirs of God. Reading Jezer's book has renewed this concept to me. A PWS struggles to come to terms with their stuttering, and the label 'stutterer' because they mark it as their primary identity, above any other identity. Therapy (if it's good) does include help to form a positive self-image, accepting stuttering as a part of themselves but not allowing to conquer themselves. The goal is to view stuttering in neutral or positive ways, which often is the key factor to opening doors which actually address the stuttering behaviors themselves, in keeping stuttering under control, or giving life to a PWS. I think that treatment then, should not only be emphasizing that stuttering is only a part of their identity, and not the whole, but also filling in the void previously filled with 'stutterer' by actively identifying healthy and positive identities, especially a primary identity. And what better identity that a child of God.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Do charts for pictures to match a name?
I catch a glimpse of First Child this morning! They came early for their session, and I was just about to leave for my own clinical site. I didn't get to talk to her though. She looked very good and happy.
Today was a fairly tough day at clinic. We had our first session at group and tried out my 'nursing home' voice...loud and deep...did not go so well, and I admit this as a weakness, but one that I can conquer, hopefully without getting larygnitis. We saw a new client today as well. E. was sick, so it was just M. and myself as student clinicians. We walked into the client's room with our supervisor, she introduced us, and asked if she was so-and-so. The client started shaking, literally shaking and looked like she was almost going to cry, saying that how nice it was for us to come visit, etc. She grasped our hands, hugged and kissed us (like relatives do, lah). She then appeared to be looking for something, glancing around the room, and did a very cool thing (to me...cause I seldom see any client do this by themselves): she verbally cued herself for the object she was looking for by saying its first letter. it turned out she was looking for her cup that had her name on it. We assumed she was who we were suppose to assess, but as it turned out, when she found her cup, we found out she was the roommate of the client we were suppose to meet...and we very well then could not just leave as she had been so emotionally involved when we came into the room. By the conversation that followed, it was obvious she had a form of dementia and was probably at the stage where one begins to forget personally related information (like her name, who's who in family pictures). I haven't thought much of the social side of living in a nursing home, from a personal standpoint. But today I did. I was kinda scared, mad and very sad to see this side of the nursing home, where a resident might not get many visitors or any at all, having all the time in the day to do nothing. Many of the residents here talk about waiting for family, refusing to leave the room just in case they miss a visitor, waiting to return to a home (they no longer have), not being able to see so-and-so, etc. It's heart breaking, the physical response I saw today was the most extreme response I've seen yet. Sure, it could be her dementia in play that influenced her behavior as well, but I think it's more than that.
Today was a fairly tough day at clinic. We had our first session at group and tried out my 'nursing home' voice...loud and deep...did not go so well, and I admit this as a weakness, but one that I can conquer, hopefully without getting larygnitis. We saw a new client today as well. E. was sick, so it was just M. and myself as student clinicians. We walked into the client's room with our supervisor, she introduced us, and asked if she was so-and-so. The client started shaking, literally shaking and looked like she was almost going to cry, saying that how nice it was for us to come visit, etc. She grasped our hands, hugged and kissed us (like relatives do, lah). She then appeared to be looking for something, glancing around the room, and did a very cool thing (to me...cause I seldom see any client do this by themselves): she verbally cued herself for the object she was looking for by saying its first letter. it turned out she was looking for her cup that had her name on it. We assumed she was who we were suppose to assess, but as it turned out, when she found her cup, we found out she was the roommate of the client we were suppose to meet...and we very well then could not just leave as she had been so emotionally involved when we came into the room. By the conversation that followed, it was obvious she had a form of dementia and was probably at the stage where one begins to forget personally related information (like her name, who's who in family pictures). I haven't thought much of the social side of living in a nursing home, from a personal standpoint. But today I did. I was kinda scared, mad and very sad to see this side of the nursing home, where a resident might not get many visitors or any at all, having all the time in the day to do nothing. Many of the residents here talk about waiting for family, refusing to leave the room just in case they miss a visitor, waiting to return to a home (they no longer have), not being able to see so-and-so, etc. It's heart breaking, the physical response I saw today was the most extreme response I've seen yet. Sure, it could be her dementia in play that influenced her behavior as well, but I think it's more than that.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Second Semester
I'm placed at the nursing home this semester, orientation was good, seems to be very interesting and fun. Residents themselves were a treat. Hopefully I'll get more hours this semester, else I'll be two semester's behind...argh! this system rots.
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